Etiquette

Dealing with a visiting dad’s unfathomable picky-eating habits

My extended family is coming for a long weekend. I haven’t seen them in a while and I’m looking forward to seeing them all.

My dad is a picky eater in ways I don’t really understand. Last time he was here, he complained about the farmers’ market eggs that I bought (“the yolks are too yellow”), the homemade cheesecake “let’s go get fast food soft-serve instead”), and he wouldn’t eat the pancakes I made because the only syrup I have is maple. He has always been picky, but I don’t really remember what he likes, I haven’t lived with him in 12 years. Read on

Honoring other people’s grief without adding pain

On sad occasions (such as death, anniversaries, terminal sickness, etc.) how to is there any way figuring out how the recipient (s) prefer? The complexity comes from various parameters including religious, social norm, community relationship, and so on.  Some online discussions …

Set boundaries with in-laws

Firmly but strongly set boundaries with in-laws who smother. Read on

Unwelcome  House Guests?

After a house visit, not being considerate to host’s life style, could mean a complete mess.  This factor specially could be a heartbreaking experience for ethnicity and culture based relationships, and friendships. Read on

What a good guest can do to help?

When guests stay for a while, are there certain things it would be nice if they did? Here are some of the favorite  hints from Heloise Central. Read on

Handling telephone calls awkwardly could be rude

Dear Miss Manners: I am annoyed by then way my significant other handles my calls.  Although he is tethered to his cellphone, I don’t expect him to pick up every call; it is the lifeline for his business. Annoyance one: He will answer the phone but announce, “I can’t talk now; I’ll call you later” and hang up, leaving me no chance to leave a message.  Isn’t this why we have voice mail, to handle calls we can’t take?

Second annoyance: He never listens to his messages, insisting it is more polite to return the call. I think if I have taken the time to leave a message, and I try to be brief, he could take the time to listen. I do not like to repeat myself, for one, and I may not need to be called back –  the message may be all that is needed to clear a situation.

He believes his way is the most polite, but I don’t believe good manners be so annoying.

Answer: If Miss Manners recommends texting, will you understand that she by no means condones its butchering of the language? As the electronic equivalent of a Post-it note, it gets the message across without interrupting the receiver.

However, at the risk of starting a domestic dispute, Miss Manners agrees with you.  With caller ID, there is reason not to let the call go to voice mail if you know you cannot take it.  Being told it’s a bad time to take a call by the person who just answered it is as illogical as it is impolite.

Invitation for house guests should be joint decision

Dear Miss Manners :Since my husband has retired and I still work full time, he has wanted to spend more and more time with his two sisters and their families, who both live a good two states away. Read on

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